4 days BEGONE!!

Back in Sandakan again after a 6 hour drive to which it was raining heavily most of the way. No more euphoric feeling like Saturday, just a certain hard fallback to normalcy.

So right now sitting on my bed, I'm wishing I can go back to my Saturday afternoon with Sainty to consult her about this awful feeling I'm feeling now. Even retail therapy didn't do the trick this time, or maybe it would have if the news weren't broken to me after it. Nope...I don't think shopping would have helped this time.

It's just that...it really feels like someone throwing ice cold water at you while you were sleeping to a real fantastic, fairy tale dream. You wake up to a horrific nightmare, and since it's reality you'll never wake up from it.

I really want Wednesday to Saturday morning to just be erased out from this week. Those would certainly be long days, to which every second would seem like an hour long with a nagging feeling that just won't go away.

Much though I hate what's going to happen, I guess I've decided to cope and be grown up about it, even though it's really not what I feel like doing. It's the best thing I can do and acting any other way would only make things worse, and worse is not an option.

Sometimes play acting really is just a part of life. Like it or not, it's something inevitable that has to be accepted. There's a lot of times in life when we're forced to do things we don't like, to accept things that we can't change. To just swallow the bitterness and put on a happy face.

So I'm very much determined to face those four days. At the end of the day, there really is nothing to lose but everything to gain. And I look forward to the gaining part.