KOTOBIAN TADAU KAAMATAN

HAPPY HARVEST FEST!!!

Being the biggest celebration here in Sabah, I have to say that this year doesn't seem as festive as every year. But still at least this is the first year after so long for me to go back to Hongkod during harvest again. It really wasn't something planned, but since cousin Megan was performing the Papar district traditional dance I thought I'd go see her, since it's gonna be the last time for me to anyway. I'm glad I did too since she was excellent (we her older generations - Edz, Tracy and me have are so bad at it!) and I got to see my former school perform as well and I have to say that they are still as good as they used to be.

So today being the official 2 day celebration, mom decided to see what they had on display at the stalls at the traditional houses. Darn it was so hot, plus I had to hold on to a 5 year old who kept pulling me around to see the things she wanted. Thank goodness we didn't stay long or I would have gone mad. After that, the day became a typical KK break day where we went shopping and carry out some errands. Oh yeah and shopping for Belle was on the list this time too. Nightmare!!! I had to look at too many pink stuff today that my vision started seeing pink everywhere.

So next on the list for Kaamatan would be the Sinundai family gathering at the official Malim's residence. My mistake earlier when I thought it was going to be a Bandasa event. Thank goodness it isn't because a Bandasa event would be simply to huge for me to actually last hanging out the whole day. As for tomorrow, I just want to stay home with a good book and maybe catch a movie in the evening with the kids.

Pain...

Pain. People say it's good, essential to help us feel alive. But why? I just don't get it. I understand its presence. Just not its good part of the whole deal. It's confusion, agony, and pulls under like a whirlpool. It seduces right before it encloses itself around you...no way out, no where to run.

I'm not sure what got me into thinking about it, but the thought of it just couldn't escape me. No...I'm not it's victim as for now. I was a few months back, but I'm back out again. It's just that the thought of it suddenly haunted me and left me wondering why is it necessary? To make us stronger and wiser they say. Yet is such a lesson needed?

If the scar it left could be seen, we'd be gladiators of our days. Medals of our wisdom - of what we've been through and walked out to tell our tale would be engraved on us. And it consumes the happiness we've been through. As though it doesn't matter as much as the pain. Happiness becomes the bittersweet of life and pain it's morale booster. How oxymoronic!

I want to live everyday with laughter, with happiness with no worries about the shadows. I know it's what everyone wants, I know it's simply too idealistic of me, yet I'm not one to stray far from the idealist groupies at the moment. As for now they seem to offer some solace in my thinking of that one simple word.

The holiday must really be affecting me :) I've been treading around too carefully. I've been tiptoeing, making sure it's not the loose boards i land my feet on. Maybe...maybe I'm just too bored :)

Home Sweet Home...not!

I've been back home three days now, which means that I've finished my exams like a week ago. So now it's down to agonizing for the results of my very last finals in ADP. I must say though that I wasn't that stressed out for this exam as I was for the previous ones. I was actually kinda relaxed throughout the whole exam preparation period.

Anyway, back to the being home again. Who would have thought that this homecoming wasn't just accompanied by boredom but by food poisoning as well! The evening we arrived home, mom took my out for dinner at this new bak kut teh place which she promises is as good as the usual place we go to. Indeed it was not! That night I couldn't even sleep because of nausea and horrible tummy aches. Next day, I could barely pick up the phone to wake Kenny up let alone call him to ask how things were with the car. The body ache that accompanied the food poisoning was simply torture.

The whole day I was only drinking fluids and my first meal of the day was dinner. Despite finally being hungry, even that couldn't stay long in me. Thank goodness that today I'm at least sans body aches or I don't think I would have survived another day with it again.

So that's exactly how my homecoming this time has been. Boredom with a strong dose of food poisoning. Who says homecoming was always fun and delightful?