when the song complements the mood

They say hard times need songs to accompany the mood. I found my perfect song this time around...and to think it was all through coincidence. But in the meantime I'm left in love with Lifehouse.



or the acoustic version of the song =)



Yes I'm lame in a lot of ways, but it's the best song to have on my Ipod at the moment while I walk alone reflecting about the things that have happened and what should have been.

counting my blessings

We had dinner at church tonight for the early thanksgiving meal since everyone would be heading back home next week for the break. Sitting there with friends who have become family ever since I came to Ames, I've realized that despite everything that went terribly wrong and all the bad things that happened this week, I do in fact have a lot to be thankful about.

1. I have my parents to be thankful to for giving me a chance to come here despite all those things in the past. Time and time again they push me to get the best out of me without ever getting tired of it.
2. For Edz and Sam. Without them bugging my life, it would be pretty dull. Plus I love it when we're all home together and the three of us hang out and we torture Sam for being the baby of the family. Also without them I wouldn't have my guinea pigs for my kitchen experiments =)
3. For having Donkey. For him always believing in me, especially when I don't believe in myself. And for him making me happiest than I've ever been in a very long time; plus for his tolerance for all my idiosyncrasies.
4. My best friends back home. We've been through so much together since high school. Each bad things that happened only made us closer and stronger. You guys never judged despite not agreeing to the things I do as long as it was the one thing that made me happy.
5. For friends, both new and old. You guys are the greatest things and I appreciate you guys being there for me especially during bad times. 
6. For all the small things in life that seems so insignificant. Those were always the things that led to bigger ones.

I realize how short the list seems, yet they do mean a lot in my life. They're the things that I'm thankful to have. Of course I'm mostly thankful to God for sending me all the wonderful people and things into my life. But most of all for holding my hand this week when I felt that nothing could ever go right again. For listening and answering my prayers this week and calming my painful heart and putting a smile back to my face.

winter heart

I look at all the things I've gotten for Donkey, and I don't know what to do with them. My feeling is reflected by the bleak weather. My heart clenched, and I walk with the heaviest heart. 

What do I do when everything I've believed in falls apart? What do I do when the one thing that seems the most solid crumbles and I'm trying to put the pieces back together again?

My fingers are still crossed in hope of getting a cheap flight back for christmas. My prayer still remains, only slightly altered. My hope is stronger and I believe in the best. 

I'm holding on to the thinnest of thread...it's my lifeline. It's my only chance. It's the only thing that keeps me going on. 

In the meantime, I sit here breathing quietly. I sit here, braving a smile on my face. Waiting to go back to the one thing that is home to me. 

winter wonderland

It's snowing! Been snowing the whole day in fact and terribly windy too. It's really odd how drastic the weather changed from being nice and warm (or what I have now considered to be nice and warm...lol) to below freezing point in 2 days! But to be honest, snow looks so much nicer from inside where it's warm and comfy rather than when you're outside and being cold waist down because you only have a pair of jeans on unlike waist up where you have 3 layers of clothing plus a scarf and gloves (well that's what it was for me). I bet when I call home dad would ask me if I remember snow since we were last here. 

It's been a tough week - both personal and business. And juggling the both of them together hasn't been much fun. The weekend won't be much help too, since the weekend is what's causing the problem anyway. So he says, "Go to the party and have fun". Yeah...like that's going to help. Keeping myself occupied really just won't make the weekend any bearable. It's just making me more prone to making more mistakes because I'm as distracted as a person could be. 

I'm just wondering what this weekend would mean. Would it bring with it bad or good news? Would my "2008 luck" still work, or has it run out from overuse? My girl friends say that it's going to be good news, but maybe that's because I've been too optimistic when I talk about the situation. Could it be I was living in some sort of an illusion and all this while telling myself something that's not real? I hate those "going-away-for-the-weekend" episodes. It never did me any good except to leave me a nervous wreck who later needs to pick the pieces up and put them together again. 

Halloween's picture perfect

Well as you all already know, I did end up going to the Halloween party and of course had a blast! After all those rough hard weeks this really made a lot of difference in the world. Plus it sort of canceled out the bad day I had. So...no regrets. 

These are basically some of the pictures we took of last night. More are of course on both Facebook and Friendster (yes I still use Friendster), BUT this one has that picture I took off from Facebook and didn't upload on Friendster. Those who've seen it before I deleted it would know which picture I'm talking about. Hahaha...thanks for the compliment on that picture Beth, but after all those comments, especially from Uncle Tham with the word "unleashed" and from Smuggy's "no comment" I just thought that it was time to take the picture out of the album just for a time period until everything cools down again. LOL! 

Well...I'm pretty much exhausted now. With work then to a BBQ right after, plus the teasing about the picture at the BBQ and later to Chee Beng's for drinks, I think I'm really ready to hit the sack now. The BBQ was really fun especially since most of us were freezing from the coldand well, I could barely eat since my hands got numb from it. Pictures are soon to follow once I upload them and get some of them from Jocelyn.

By the way, daylight saving is back again so for those whom I always keep in touch with from back home, I'm no longer 13 hours behind you guys, it's been set back to 14 hours now. So basically my 1am would be your 3pm. So happy weekend guys, hope you guys had a good haunting *grins*