The Worrier

Aarati says I worry too much. She's right. I can't help it though. Sometimes I think it's what I do best. Funny how this thing is really bugging me now and making me worried as ever. I seriously wished it were over; I guess worry took its place instead. Maybe things would be fine in a few days.

Pala said I've turned into a softy. Jo said I've always been one and the toughie was just an act. That's because it was ok to be such a girl in front of her. I tried being a meanie a couple of times over the past week. It only made me feel worse than ever. It doesn't necessarily means I'm a softy...I just changed. I can still be that person when really ticked. This however, just didn't warrant it.

Still feeling tons of worry. Add a touch of guilt to it...but it needed to be said. Just wish I didn't have this nagging worry feeling.




Signed,

The Worrier

It's been a real long while since I've last posted something on my blog. Every single time I feel like writing something I end up posing my fingers above the keyboard and end up with nothing. But today, today I finally do have something to say and to think I should be using this time to do some last minute going over for my French test.

Well...first week back from Spring Break, and the weather couldn't be more uncooperative. Sure it reflects the after break mood, but a little sunshine could help cheer the mood. The weeks really seems draggy and long and the four tests I'm having this week certainly doesn't help in the least. The good thing however is that I've went to church this Sunday. I've actually forgotten how calm I feel in church, and how whatever troubles I have doesn't seem that bad once I'm there. So sitting there at the back row on Sunday evening was really what I needed especially with the thing that's been bothering me so much.

The best part of finding myself back to church? I remember once again that the Lord doesn't leave you no matter what. That at a time where you begin to forget his presence and feel lost and troubled, he helps you draw strength from the people around you. That you once again feel blessed to have all these wonderful people who just by presence sends you the Lord's message.

I finally feel much calmer then I've been on Sunday night and Monday. I feel that I finally know what to do and have made my decision on it. Perhaps I did change after that bad episode I went through last year, but I do hope that the change doesn't mean that I'm a much weaker person than I was before it.

Counting the days....

till Spring Break! I really can't wait to go to Chicago. I've already been good enough for staying back during Winter Break, which I still don't know how I managed to. So now, I think I really deserve this break plus the fact that I can't wait to hang out with my girls.

Today's been such a beautiful day! I didn't even need my hoodie to walk around. Hahaha...and to think in Malaysia at 14C I would have been freezing. Now I just have no idea how am I gonna adapt to Sandakan weather again. Thank goodness I'm only spending a month there. Just enough time to spend with the family and not get bored to death in the place.

So what else is new? Well the fact that I don't have much to do is something new. I feel so lost not being busy. I have all this time on my hands and I really don't know what to do with it. Well I would spend it watching tons of movies if it weren't for the fact that my laptop has been dying on me. But I have been reading again, and it's good to be back into it even if progress really is slow.

Hurm...Friday tomorrow...maybe I should have meat today for dinner. Hahahaha...and put a reminder for myself that meat is a NO NO NO for tomorrow. Urgh....*stretches* I just love it when the weekend rolls in again. C'est parfait, n'est ce pas?